when your closest friends ‘overlook’ your birthday because they’ve been too busy with work. i know i sound petty but is it too much to just drop a text in the middle of lunch or when you go pee/poo? when we were in secondary school and jc, we used to celebrate each others’ birthdays by spending the whole day together. there was gift exchanges, hand written cards & letters, and we took more time to show how much we appreciated each other. then in uni it was dinner/lunch/tea a simple meal and catch up, to show that we still cared even though we found new friends. now that all of us have started working, it seems that even a simple call or text is not worth the time & effort, and all we find are excuses to cover up for the fact that we forgot about a friend’s special day. i’m not even asking that we spend time together because i know you are busy. even a simple one-liner that goes, ‘happy birthday!’ to show you remember would be nice. especially since the same thing happened last year. :(
i sound like a real petty bitch but it’s really quite upsetting…
almost ending week 9 of practicum. was reading through my reflections and realised… boy, have i grown.
i still remember vividly - how i cried buckets every day when i returned home from school for the first three weeks - exhausted, disappointed and broken. i kept questioning God if this was where i was really meant to be. if it was, why couldn’t i see the light at the end of the tunnel?
then somehow, somewhere along the way, things started changing for the better. it was still an uphill climb, no doubt, but i learnt to put my trust in God and have faith that since he brought me to N0rthland, he would get me through these ten weeks. I learnt to welcome what God had in store for me, and to stop and rest in His embrace from time to time. Each time i stopped, i paused to take a look back. And each time i looked back, i was amazed to find flowers growing where i had trodden.
these 9 weeks were, by far, the most challenging, but also the most rewarding 9 weeks of my life. God showed me the way to teach and reaffirmed my passion to teach. Not lecture, but teach. I came to realize that God had greater plans for me - and the more I resisted N0rthland because I was fearful and afraid, the more God knew that He had put me at the right place to train me. It was in my weakness that His strength was made perfect.
I am glad to say that I am now a much stronger and resilient person than I have ever been. To my beloved students, thank you for accepting me with all my flaws, and for letting me love and guide you as you grow to become fine young men and women.
all my life, i’ve been rich. i’ve never had to worry about not having the tastiest food to eat, the prettiest clothes to wear, the trendiest bags to carry. i’ve attended the most expensive tuition classes, dined at the most expensive hotels and country clubs, sat in the most expensive cars. i’ve lived a life of luxury - nothing less.
that is precisely why i don’t need to marry a man who’s rich. i’ve had enough of life experiences to understand that money does not bring one true happiness. yes, it satisfies your material ‘wants’ and, yes, it makes you feel good and look good. but these are merely things that embellish our outer shell.
the man i am going to marry may not be rich, but he has to be able to make me happy without needing to use money. only then can i be truly sure that he has something better to offer; and that he is truly worth spending the rest of my life with.
lovequotesrus:
Photo Courtesy: dirtyw0rk-at-the-disc0
i am trying so hard to exercise professionalism in dealing with my emotions. i have been taught that as a teacher, i should be able to exercise prudence when dealing with students and sticky situations - that i should be as emotionally detached as possible, that i should not take to heart nasty comments that students make (because apparently they are never personal), that i should be as fair and diplomatic as possible even to students who are downright mean and refuse to learn and make things difficult for me. because, they say, i am a teacher, and i should condition myself to learn to react in that way.
but they fail to realize that i am human too. just as every human being would feel hurt when insulted, i feel hurt too. just as every human being would feel frustrated when the hard work they put in does not get appreciated or recognized, and goes to waste, i feel frustrated too. just as every human being can’t stand the sight, and bear the thought of, someone who continually makes life difficult for them, i hate disruptive students too.
there are days, God forbid, i feel like slapping the life out of some students. there are days i feel like crumbling apart and disintegrating into nothingness. there are nights i go to bed, so relieved that finally i have time for myself - albeit just in sleep - that i wish i could go on sleeping forever. and only to realize that 5 hours later i will have to get ready to start my next day in school.
it has only been 3 weeks, but it feels like i’ve been here for 3 years. every day i feel like i’m fighting a losing battle. every day is an uphill climb. i have 7 more weeks till the end of practicum, but the light at the end of the tunnel is nowhere in sight.
will i ever get there?
Next